Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Xdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: weepingwillow
    ASL Info:    23/f/Brighton
    Elite Ratio:    2.91 - 38/75/35
    Words: 140
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 990
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1225



    Description:
       vent/sex/despair


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsXdots
    -------------------------------------------


    gloopy marmalade,once thick and sweet
    has turned green,mouldy hum.
    my best encounters
    are simply that
    instead
    i wish to fold and unfold
    like intricate origami.
    the pressure surrounds
    and, flipping my lid,
    i dissolve
    like the oranges did.

    crossed limbs haunt me
    disease plagues me
    this mental heat
    holds no regard for demure chaste

    and so the cycle spinning
    makes a broken carcass my unchanging
    contemporary guise.

    Conjecture- a damp flannel
    which refuses to scour sins
    the heat of the moment
    punishes
    and Im held therein
    disassociation between
    end and origin
    No worthy adhesive
    will bind
    pleasure with eternal hymn.

    The 'solution' malleable too:-
    notions of 'love' shrink
    only perplexity intensifies

    each vast brink
    containing a thouSand chasms
    bodily separation
    contrasts
    futile mind spasms.









    Submitted on 2008-02-18 18:05:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
       I think that the reason I love this so much, is because it reminded me of a feeling once, a feeling that intensely stood with me for a while. A simple memory of being the only one with X having to deal with the lack of pleasures promised by everyone who fell through. Too many emotions, and lack thereof, at the same time, to go through in one night. Not sure if that's what you wrote or if it makes sense to you, but thanks for the trip down memory lane. Very well written.
    | Posted on 2008-07-18 00:00:00 | by Nicholas Lala | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    157767

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry