Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Like I'm Sixdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1074
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 542



    Description:
       This was inspired by an artist called Vik Muniz. He's a clever, playful chap who painted Freud with Bosco and Medusa in spaghetti. He also did portraits in little toys (like toy soldiers and cars). http://www.vikmuniz.net/main.html


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLike I'm Sixdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You inspire me to play,
    to spell out poems with Skittles and M&M's,
    write serious drama for Barbie dolls,
    wear camouflage with black velvet and pearls,
    copy my hairstyles from the paintings of Vermeer,
    sculpt the Nashville skyline from Play-Doh
    to forget those idiots that tell me I can't,
    and act like I'm six to tap into the artist of my inner child.
    So, I'll wear that glass hat
    just because it's pretty
    and try not to bump my head.




    Submitted on 2004-06-29 05:00:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is delightful. I intend to translate this into japanese and frame it above your bed; the only way it can be more beautiful. Jade would love a serious play written for her dolls. X
    | Posted on 2004-07-02 00:00:00 | by buttsee | [ Reply to This ]
      Reminded me "Like A Child" written by S. Vega. Haha... I like this one. Some people forget about: how is it to be a child, but it's a thing we all should not forget. To bring that happiness and moments "to those who will survive". Well written.
    | Posted on 2004-07-01 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      i had to laugh because this reminds me of what i do pretty much on a daily basis! lol! well, i do sculpt with playdoh and wear funny hats on my head and do other crazy 4-5 year old things! i get paid to play, basically. i loved that you just want to let your inner child out to play. not many people will do that. it's too "undignified" or whatever. you're a kid-soul, and that's probably why i like you so much! i'm going to fav this one so that i can read it when i feel myself getting to "grown up" to remind myself NOT TO!
    | Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      It does take a measure of nerve to post something that is so personal as our art and so subject to riddicule.
    A glass hat indeed, and we won't be wanting to bump heads, especially with each other now, eh?
    Brilliant.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm thinking very carefully about this.. I like it so very much but I think that the glass hat IS [censored]ING BRILLIANT!!!
    You cow, I wish I'd thought of that. Moo :p

    I'd really like to see something more from that idea and so thinking on what BRT says, I agree with him that it felt one line too long. I didn't feel that the glass line fitted in with the childishness of the rest of it, so I think you should take away the hat reference and end it with inner child's artist. That would work as it felt like it ended there....
    | Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. It is a good reminder that art can go back to it's innocent beginings and be fresh and exciting while we express our playfulness and joy.

    We made these lovely little pictures in grade school where you take fall leaves and crayon shavings. They are placed between two sheets of waxed paper and ironed together. The melted wax flows together to create a abstract in color while the leaves give focal point. This poem reminded me of the simple joy found in childish art forms.
    | Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      this reads like a perfectly planned afternoon tea party with all the dolls sitting just so, hands poised to pick up the delicate china. it's whimsical and it bends but each part of this is placed just so and is a Kodak moment that should never be passed up. people have told you to get rid of things or change things, but i won't - it's perfect. i'm adding it as a fave.

    ~Blue
    | Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
      im really liking this cuddle its so sweet ...wishing i could go back and be six right now ...be so much easier...i love play dough...im liking the glass hat part...just because its pretty...love that...thanks for sharing...made me smile...ange
    | Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, this is great. You have way outshone my child-themed writes. Of course, your inspiration was an artist, and mine was a GI Joe. I like the whole bit of it, but starting with "write serious drama..." down to "skyline from play-doh", you sort of list out the activities. It works very well, but I think the list is just one line too long. Three lines sounds much better than four. The hard part is that all the lines are good. So getting rid of one of them is tough. I'm not even going to suggest which one should go. You might be able to find another way to make the line work in the poem as well. For the easy way out, just eliminate one of them. Or, just keep them all. I enjoyed it tremendously.
    | Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      it's fun to act like a kid. we should do it more often. a serious drama for barbie dolls is great. great poem, I could feel your fascination. very well done.
    | Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is fun, and a breath of fresh air... So many people are uninventive, it seems. I like what you're expressing and the way you've expressed it... the serious drama for Barbie dolls, the Play-Doh, it's great. The last line feels a bit cumbersome, somehow... Considered phrasing it differently? Becky
    | Posted on 2004-06-29 00:00:00 | by SugarMouse | [ Reply to This ]
      ahh now i see where the original glass hat image came from.. to be honest .. i prefer the way you've used it here.. there's something more breathtaking or even more of a sense of urgency when it's the image of a child with a glass hat on.. great poem.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    15780

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry