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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Invincibledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PrincessDoom13
    ASL Info:    18/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    4.12 - 79/80/39
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 67
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 419



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInvincibledots
    -------------------------------------------


    I get this surreal feeling
    An ephemeral will, if you will
    As if I am invincible - !

    But alas,
    I have a heart
    That beats [unfortunately] within

    And these neurons that spark
    Back and forth, an unending cycle,
    Provide me with something

    Like feeling.

    Is there such a way to not feel?
    To forgive and forget?




    Submitted on 2008-02-19 19:51:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You have a really interesting way of writing. I like it. It's different, It's good to see a different type of writing here. To me, it seems a lot like Emily Dickenson. I consider that a compliment, she is my favorite poet. It has her simpleness. This poem is to the point. I don't have to try and guess what your poem was talking about. The only thing that gets me is the second line

    "An ephemeral will, if you will"

    I don't know what ephemeral means, so I couldn't give you a way to re-word it. Having "will" twice in the line just doesn't click right with me. Nice write.

    ~*~katara~*~
    | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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