[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Pretensesdots

    Author: Quin
    Elite Ratio:    3.65 - 39/39/21
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1270

       ...Just a few thoughts.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    + Sinking slowly,
    we take on the world.
    With foolish dreams, and hopeless hopes,
    we fight on.
    Such precious cargo
    we bear on our shoulders;
    dying slowly,
    we take on the world.

    Let it be said that chivalry isnít dead,
    you helped me when I help you.
    But we canít contain it,
    those hot spots of freedom,
    and plus, why would we
    when we can roam?

    Itís not so bad when we sit together,
    but everyone watches us anyway.
    We tell them its nothing,
    and blush aside, mouthing
    the words we wish we could say aloud.
    Itís terrible the way we hide from each other.


    Such is the way we are.
    We canít help but fight.
    Itís all about the here and now,
    so donít bother crying.
    In the day we bicker endlessly,
    at night we smile tenderly,
    and tell one another
    those words, so illusive.

    Itís called hate,
    Or love,
    Depends on whoís asking
    Like water and fire,
    We create a mist
    which confuses us:
    and we lose our way
    in the fog we create.
    But under the cover of being lost, we hold hands.

    Submitted on 2008-02-19 21:06:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      When I first started reading this, I thought you were just talking about humans in general, about how we're foolish and all. Of course, I was wrong, but I enjoyed the end resulf of the poem. I especially like the third stanza.
    | Posted on 2008-02-19 00:00:00 | by Sparkster | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Incubus written by monad
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    ME written by jjd
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    This written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]