Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Peat Bogdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 575
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 710



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Peat Bogdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I spy through the green reeds
    Silver sunbeams at dawn
    As dew bends the tall weeds
    On this fey guarded lawn.

    Now back through the swamp grass
    Still in search of that pool,
    They say shines like green glass,
    A pellucid rare jewel.

    Iíll wade through the peat bog
    Past the ghoul-guarded run,
    Not wait till that thick fog
    Is displaced by the Sun.

    My love I will find her
    Dreaming under the sky,
    So here I will bind her
    When the twilight falls nigh.

    Caress her wet tresses
    Kiss her pale lips so sweet
    To sigh as she blesses
    Down under the peat.




    Submitted on 2008-02-20 14:54:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem reminds me of documentaries about the bog bodies, preserved for hundreds of years by chemicals in the peat bog! It also prompted me to look up the meaning of "pellucid" (thank you); a delightful word, with much poetic music in its pronunciation!

    The meaning of the story was not clear to me; is this a ghost lover looking to reunite with his lost love in a certain pool in the bog?

    At any rate, it has your usual brilliance and excellence in structure, rhyme, and rhythm, and makes for delightful reading!
    | Posted on 2008-02-23 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      good stuff, I'm not usually a fan of this style of poetry(gasp), but I loved your piece. The words were so lucid that the story just sailed along. I also havent heard a good quest poem in a long time. You've got a good way with words and maybe should consider an Epic poem of sorts? If you're story telling can span beyond a few stanza, I'd love to read more. Thank you for posting and please keep writing.
    | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by reveries | [ Reply to This ]
      You seem to have a way with words. It all sounds so pretty - not that that's hiding the meaning in the words, but I get so distracted by the prettiness of your prose that I forgot there was a story involved.

    THIS is NOT a BAD THING. This is a GOOD thing. Excellent job. *thumbs up!*
    | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by Quin | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this poem. The imagery, and how thoughtful it is. I can vividly place myself in your poem, and clearly see the scene unfolding.

    I also love how you put something darker behind a semblance of serene beauty.

    An all around great poem.
    | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by Nathaufein | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    157872

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Giving written by jjd
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Bond written by saartha
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    untitled written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry