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    dots Submission Name: The Peat Bogdots

    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 552
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 710


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Peat Bogdots

    I spy through the green reeds
    Silver sunbeams at dawn
    As dew bends the tall weeds
    On this fey guarded lawn.

    Now back through the swamp grass
    Still in search of that pool,
    They say shines like green glass,
    A pellucid rare jewel.

    Iíll wade through the peat bog
    Past the ghoul-guarded run,
    Not wait till that thick fog
    Is displaced by the Sun.

    My love I will find her
    Dreaming under the sky,
    So here I will bind her
    When the twilight falls nigh.

    Caress her wet tresses
    Kiss her pale lips so sweet
    To sigh as she blesses
    Down under the peat.

    Submitted on 2008-02-20 14:54:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      This poem reminds me of documentaries about the bog bodies, preserved for hundreds of years by chemicals in the peat bog! It also prompted me to look up the meaning of "pellucid" (thank you); a delightful word, with much poetic music in its pronunciation!

    The meaning of the story was not clear to me; is this a ghost lover looking to reunite with his lost love in a certain pool in the bog?

    At any rate, it has your usual brilliance and excellence in structure, rhyme, and rhythm, and makes for delightful reading!
    | Posted on 2008-02-23 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      good stuff, I'm not usually a fan of this style of poetry(gasp), but I loved your piece. The words were so lucid that the story just sailed along. I also havent heard a good quest poem in a long time. You've got a good way with words and maybe should consider an Epic poem of sorts? If you're story telling can span beyond a few stanza, I'd love to read more. Thank you for posting and please keep writing.
    | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by reveries | [ Reply to This ]
      You seem to have a way with words. It all sounds so pretty - not that that's hiding the meaning in the words, but I get so distracted by the prettiness of your prose that I forgot there was a story involved.

    THIS is NOT a BAD THING. This is a GOOD thing. Excellent job. *thumbs up!*
    | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by Quin | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this poem. The imagery, and how thoughtful it is. I can vividly place myself in your poem, and clearly see the scene unfolding.

    I also love how you put something darker behind a semblance of serene beauty.

    An all around great poem.
    | Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by Nathaufein | [ Reply to This ]

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