The Peat Bog by Algol46

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Submission Name: The Peat Bog dots

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Author:	Algol46
ASL Info:	200/m/East of Eden
Elite Ratio:	2.75 - 1039/1111/530
Words:	109

Class/Type:	Poetry/Dark
Total Views:	83
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	710

Description:

The Peat Bog dots

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I spy through the green reeds
Silver sunbeams at dawn
As dew bends the tall weeds
On this fey guarded lawn.

Now back through the swamp grass
Still in search of that pool,
They say shines like green glass,
A pellucid rare jewel.

I’ll wade through the peat bog
Past the ghoul-guarded run,
Not wait till that thick fog
Is displaced by the Sun.

My love I will find her
Dreaming under the sky,
So here I will bind her
When the twilight falls nigh.

Caress her wet tresses
Kiss her pale lips so sweet
To sigh as she blesses
Down under the peat.

Submitted on 2008-02-20 14:54:35 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This poem reminds me of documentaries about the bog bodies, preserved for hundreds of years by chemicals in the peat bog! It also prompted me to look up the meaning of "pellucid" (thank you); a delightful word, with much poetic music in its pronunciation!

The meaning of the story was not clear to me; is this a ghost lover looking to reunite with his lost love in a certain pool in the bog?

At any rate, it has your usual brilliance and excellence in structure, rhyme, and rhythm, and makes for delightful reading!
| Posted on 2008-02-23 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
  good stuff, I'm not usually a fan of this style of poetry(gasp), but I loved your piece. The words were so lucid that the story just sailed along. I also havent heard a good quest poem in a long time. You've got a good way with words and maybe should consider an Epic poem of sorts? If you're story telling can span beyond a few stanza, I'd love to read more. Thank you for posting and please keep writing.
| Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by reveries | [ Reply to This ]
  You seem to have a way with words. It all sounds so pretty - not that that's hiding the meaning in the words, but I get so distracted by the prettiness of your prose that I forgot there was a story involved.

THIS is NOT a BAD THING. This is a GOOD thing. Excellent job. *thumbs up!*
| Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by Quin | [ Reply to This ]
  I really enjoyed this poem. The imagery, and how thoughtful it is. I can vividly place myself in your poem, and clearly see the scene unfolding.

I also love how you put something darker behind a semblance of serene beauty.

An all around great poem.
| Posted on 2008-02-20 00:00:00 | by Nathaufein | [ Reply to This ]

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