Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Twisted Prayerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 820
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 752



    Description:
       Rough draft, please comment


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTwisted Prayerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Staring at the wall
    hearing a scream
    waking up in the da morning
    to see the blood in the hall from the murder scene.

    If I where murdered in cold blood tomorrow
    would you show some love.
    Enough said.

    To finally realize the scream was mine
    Asked Angels for the east too west too north too south, to let my family and friends to rest after an unsuspected death.

    Let me into the heavens above.
    Even with all my sins
    I already said heartfelt confessions
    Who's better to watch over a family and friends that deserve so much more.

    Angles from the East to the West, from the north to the south
    Please here this twisted prayer




    Submitted on 2008-02-20 17:05:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i really liked the way you worded this poem. it has a deep meaning and it can relate to most people. everyone thinks about death some time or an other. even though this is the rough draft it works well. keep up the good writing...oh...look at the third stanza...it could flow a bit more.
    Toodles
    Katie
    | Posted on 2008-03-07 00:00:00 | by Lover girl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    157879

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    prison written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    Carry written by saartha
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The World written by jjd
    Cover written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry