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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 3am musingsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Maverique
    ASL Info:    25/F/Own little world
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 438/478/128
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 545



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots3am musingsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    dance;
    dance your sorrows away
    and perhaps a beautiful girl
    will offer you her lips
    in which to drown,
    and to forget




    If I were a different girl
    maybe I would love you ~
    fall madly, irrevocably
    for your sad eyes,
    your beautiful music,
    your private pain.



    If this were a different life
    maybe
    maybe you would love me too.




    Submitted on 2008-02-21 01:27:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      this is quite cute.

    if this were a different life... if i were a different girl...

    i like the idea that none of this is the way it is... that this is about something that could be if the variables were different. only problem is the variables in question are actually constants... you cannot be another girl... this cannot be another life.

    and thus the implications are merely dreams
    but everybodys gotta have a dream right?
    | Posted on 2008-03-10 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the first and second strophes. You set up a genuine wish and the will to make it happen. But the thrid strophe doesn't fit somehow, is it just there to reject someone who is asking?

    I read it from the beginning as a dream sequence. But my aha
    just kicked in, hehe, I might be slow today.

    Anyway, nice write, thanks for sharing.

    Nan
    | Posted on 2008-02-26 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      awww.

    honest.
    sweet.
    tortured.

    i drown and dance all the time; it's much the same thing to me, i fear.
    ~
    | Posted on 2008-02-23 00:00:00 | by silent strings | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this short and subtle as well as it takes the reader to whereverer their imagination leads them

    well done

    sandman
    | Posted on 2008-02-22 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      this write is cute, though i didn't quite think the title fit.
    | Posted on 2008-02-21 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]
      Aaah, lovers, in their togetherness; in their aloneness! This reads mystically like the thoughts anyone might have away from home, in a strange place, having a last drink before turning in for the night!

    Excellent write!
    | Posted on 2008-02-21 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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