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    dots Submission Name: We Die Each Daydots

    Author: ashik
    Elite Ratio:    4.65 - 50/37/31
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 741


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    dotsWe Die Each Daydots

    When I think,
    We die each day,
    I remember when
    You took my hand
    Mom, you held my hand.
    Whispered in my ear,
    Just hoping I would hear.
    Your hands,
    They were soft.
    Your voice, even softer.
    Mom, when you’d stroke my hair.
    Love, I could feel.
    Mom, I need you to be with me.
    We die each day,
    Some more than one.
    This one physically,
    That one spiritually,
    Me emotionally.
    Your body’s leaving.
    Your mind, it’s gone
    Mom, I need to see,
    Your touch,
    Your look.
    Mom, I need to feel,
    Your love,
    Your touch.
    Mom, I need to hear
    Your voice,
    Your love.

    Submitted on 2008-02-21 09:37:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. This piece is beautiful. Seriously. Almost brought a tear to my eye. This deserves a favorite. mmmk. Now to discuss, because there isn't really anything to critique (except a minor spelling error in line 7, hopping should be hoping, nothing big). But to begin with, there is such emotion in this piece, it's just...beautiful. I seem to be at a loss for words...sorry. Great read/write. Peace and inspiration!

    | Posted on 2008-03-09 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]

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