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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Gay Timesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Suven7
    ASL Info:    18 female Fla
    Elite Ratio:    7.1 - 477/259/47
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 90
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 720



    Description:
       Can you afford to be gay? Yeah, neither can I.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGay Timesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    She said she’s not gay –
    Most of the time –
    And I said
    "…"

    All I could say was
    "…"

    I craned my neck to look
    At her, maybe to
    Shame her in saying
    “Just kidding!”

    But the Twix in my mouth
    Continued to grow heavier in
    Density and some bits
    Had even eloped with
    The roof of my mouth.

    I thought of how she can’t
    Afford to be gay.

    “You’re too ugly,” I was
    About to say, but instead
    "…"
    Came out as I
    Shoved another bar of
    Twix in my mouth and
    shifted my weight in
    turning away.




    Submitted on 2008-02-21 17:46:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it. Very unexpected. Very honest too. Like a conversation you'd over hear on a bus..
    "But the Twix in my mouth
    Continued to grow heavier in
    Density and some bits
    Had even eloped with
    The roof of my mouth."
    Maybe that was a bit too much but I don't really have any suggestions, I'll take it as it is.
    | Posted on 2008-06-08 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece was different, it left me with many questions though. Things such as was the person you were talking to your friend? Was she really ugly or was it because who she said she was change your opinion of her? Was that her trying to come out to you?

    I also believe it became a tad repetative, at some point I think perhaps maybe you could have worded it somehow so that people would no you didnt say anything but you didn't paraphrase on an inconsistant basis.

    Interesting piece anyway and I'd like to see more from you possibly on this subject.

    -Poppi
    | Posted on 2008-02-22 00:00:00 | by poppi | [ Reply to This ]
      So...
    I double entendre created here is crazy. Gay as in stupid or gay as in gay...
    The second line is perfectly set up. I was reading the poem...and then I was READING the poem.
    Tell "her" to stop being stupid and that she's not gay.

    Sometimes all we can do is shove another twix in our mouth to keep from...going crazy? getting angry? laughing?...I think that's why we do it...because we can't figure out how to respond.

    Love - Olah
    | Posted on 2008-02-21 00:00:00 | by Olah89 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, what happened here? I must know more about this situation. Sounds... fascinating. Kinda hilarious in a way, but I'm sure that it will make more sense once you explain it to me more...

    Only sometimes gay? wha....?
    | Posted on 2008-02-21 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]



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