Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Demanddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: awastedsky
    Elite Ratio:    5.51 - 103/119/79
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 106
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1135



    Description:
       Stare down.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDemanddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Forgetting
    rotten thought, and
    self-respecting
    nonsens-
    ical rumor
    has it made
    of what you'll be
    of Goldilocks
    and strain, fright, and
    apple pie.

    Coming down to
    prove a point
    that's already
    ex-is-ted.
    Staring,
    sarcasm,
    wit
    and good humor,
    but not the face to show it.

    Peroxide love
    and life away
    to friendship lost
    sexual gain
    to peering over
    piers and pins and
    pricks who never
    learned to read.

    Brush aside to
    brush away to
    escape fabric-
    ated fears and
    weaknesses;
    exhibiting
    strength is
    a requirement.

    Tenuous
    but cautious
    crimes of beating
    hearts and unrestrained
    lack of free will
    demanding reprise
    demanding faith
    demanding what is undeserved,
    you are just
    rock-ing back-and-forth
    until the job is done.

    Comparatively,
    I am
    much
    better.




    Submitted on 2008-02-22 05:46:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I actually quite liked this poem. They creativity you put into your lines worked wonderfully with this peice. Although the lines may be small, they go straight to the point and reveal much emotion.

    I also like how you do rythm but it's not as noticable as some poems. Like the first stanza. 'Thought--- Goldilocks'. ^_^ Nice

    Cry
    | Posted on 2008-02-22 00:00:00 | by WhY-dO-yOu-CrY | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    157953



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry