Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Feast of Love

Author: poetry chica
ASL Info:    17/f/usa
Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 93 /98 /34
Words: 151
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 989
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1040


Feast of Love

As the blue-bloods roam the streets,
Searching for their soul mates
The one person who can fill them
Those who are willing to give their souls

The torn and sun-shot drapes
The shrouds of veil surrounding
Cries of self-fulfillment
Burning in the fire of love.

As blue bloods eat and drink
The blood of their loves outpoured
They whisper sweet dreams
Into their victims handsome mouths

Their souls intertwine
Love bites tattooed upon their veins
As the sun kisses the twilight
They huddle together within their blue-blood hole.

As the world to which they are bound begins to fade,
As the portal opens wide,
They dance like animals beneath the sunrise,
Waiting for their salvation.

The sun pierces their paper thin bodies
Sun shot holes appearing on their skin
As their bodies turn to ash
Their souls fly together into the horizon.

Submitted on 2008-02-22 10:57:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  that was really pretty effing good! On the first read, I thought "oh my god this is horrible" but I read it again & really let the visuals sink in & it totally changed my mind. I just kinda don't understand the 'blue blood' thing...anyway, keep up the good work!

| Posted on 2008-02-23 00:00:00 | by Mark Huntsman | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?