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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Handful of Minutesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: eyeless in gaza
    Elite Ratio:    6.13 - 235/170/53
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 90
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1188



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Handful of Minutesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There are no curtains
    on my kitchen window,
    no green plants,

    only an old red dented plastic clock
    with a picture of Elvis inside,
    decorates the window sill.

    I found it in a junk shop in Amsterdam,
    lying between African figures , hash pipes and
    other smoking utensils.

    The clock runs 5 minutes ahead of all the
    other ones in the house.
    I have chosen not to set it right, as the thought

    of drinking my coffee
    5minutes in the future appeals to me.
    Or when walking into another room in the house

    I take a tiny step backwards in time.
    just 5 minutes,
    but if you think about it,

    how many regretful words or
    rash decisions
    have been said or made,

    in less than 5 Minutes.
    And how many of us, if we had the chance
    would gladly go back,

    if only for a handful of minutes to a
    certain moment of time
    and undue a wrong decision.

    Or take back words
    that were thrown out instead of
    having been thought out?




    Submitted on 2008-02-23 13:08:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i adore this.
    i almost know the exact shelf you bought it from. i spent a day just wandering and out of cluttered shops in amsterdam marvelling at all the random items on sale and wondering whether theyd have any practical use when applied to my real environment.

    interestingly enough i am with you on this piece. it was day light savings last weekend and i was sleeping in a tent and only had to turn my cellfone clock forward. however i got home and no one had turned any of the other clocks forward. ive moved the oven clock forward but the living room is still an hour behind and i can never remember which one im sposed to move forward an hour when i look at them. needless to say im kinda lost this week.

    i like the idea of stepping back in time 5minutes. usually people are wanting to turn back time in yearly doses but 5minutes seems small and feesible.

    i really like this piece.
    | Posted on 2008-10-04 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I have often set a clock forward just to motivate my groggy
    soul in the morning. And I understand that if the clock wants to be faster, that's fine with you. Elvis was ahead of his time in every way so it just fits.

    The poem reads in a clear linear fashion. It could be tricky to
    pull this one off but you've managed it with great skill.

    And it reminds me that I have every chance to think before I speak. Frankly, this is poem I needed to read today and it fits
    for the seeming dilemmas in my life and gives advice on how I should approach them.

    Thanks again for sharing,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2008-02-27 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm, so true. i have moments like this pretty much every day. but then, i have foot in mouth syndrome, so yup.

    i like the progression of this poem, how it goes from detailing your surrounds to the philosophical musings which this poem centres upon... it's quite liquid, surprising in that way, i guess. but one nit (that you're free to take or dismiss, obviously)? how about breaking your first strophe into three lines? it's the only one that's a two-liner, that's all... after "curtains" would be the most obvious place to me... but hey, just my thoughts, nothing more.

    *takes foot out of mouth again*

    great poem, by the way.
    ~

    | Posted on 2008-02-25 00:00:00 | by silent strings | [ Reply to This ]
      There are definitely a billion times where I would have gone abck five minutes before, or rather days before.Because for me everything bad happens within the span of a day. Oh well, I guess five minutes would still be blissful.

    I like the humor in the poem. At first I really didnt get where it was going, with the clock adn everything...but then I was like, oh how cool...5 minutes. Haha I think its cool, a little perk you have to bring a smile to your face every morning, everyday...Its good.

    As for the poem, I really like how the idea moved, transformed into your moral. The only tidbit I would like to say is structure. I'm not quite sure how you structered it, the lines seem slightly random. But yeah other than that it was a really nice write.

    Keep it up,
    Miranda
    | Posted on 2008-02-23 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]
      I would love for some of those minutes. To undo all thewrong that was done. There are so many moments that i would take back and want to correct. But at the same time have to realize that those mistakes and those moments are really blessings in disguise because it has shaped me into who i am today.

    There are of course some minutes that have to be taken back because those minutes changes the entire course of your life and you think about it every moment "If only i didn't do that, I wouldn't be where i am right now".

    But still, cool poem. You've set up your own setting in this piece before you actually began what you wanted to say and that's very rarely done. But whenever that does happen, the mood is just right and everything is perfect.

    So great job with this piece. You've made me feel right at home. Nicely done.

    Have a great day.

    Take care....

    Irina
    | Posted on 2008-02-23 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]


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