[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: soft focusdots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 519
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1141


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssoft focusdots

    & glistering in sleep,
    i awaken you.

    the true storm
    of the inner eye
    is coming
    & it's counting back
    all the memories
    that we had along the way.

    they melt,
    like apples in the pail.

    the heart
    skips in threes
    & i'm on my knees.
    i guess that i'm second to none,
    when it comes to second guessing.

    the hard hit of morning
    is my lonely arm.
    i feather the skin
    wondering how old
    the blood is
    & if it's ready to river out of me
    while i'm at it.

    there's a certain safety
    in solitude.
    a certainty in the number
    of seconds that pass
    like lions towards my light.

    the nut of isis
    grows thorns
    in the milky dusk of me.

    i'm only ever as real as i am
    when i'm trying
    & dull hours will be the death of me
    in dying.

    soft focus,
    i'm drowning
    in some dream of you...

    Submitted on 2008-02-24 06:59:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Superbly crafted and expressed. Not very often I say this on this site.......but I am imressed.

    Excellent piece of writing.

    | Posted on 2008-02-24 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      A truly poignant rendition of existentialist angst.
    Well crafted work !
    | Posted on 2008-02-24 00:00:00 | by petrushka | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Because of You written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Bond written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Linger written by saartha
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Wavelength written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]