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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 5 Questionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Xena
    ASL Info:    17/F/Pluto
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 24/20/22
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 596
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 761



    Description:
       It came to me after I listened to a song called Untouched by the Veronicas


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots5 Questionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I gave you a letter some time ago
    It had a picture of me inside
    We planned to spend eternity together
    But now, what happened?
    you gave up on me to be with her
    Hey you! I'm talking here!
    I asked you to look at me but your looking right through me.
    Hey you! Can't you see that I'm bleeding right in front of you.
    So baby, am I not cute enough for you?
    So baby, can you feel my heart die inside the cross I gave you?
    So baby, am I no thin enough to hang out with you?
    So baby, can you see my taped up heart?
    So baby, just tell me, did you ever feel the way you told me you did?
    I gave you a letter some time ago
    It's in a box with all the others.




    Submitted on 2008-02-24 15:58:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i can feel the hurt coming off of the page it feelt so real and raw i really hope it was a wieght lifted when you were able to put this down
    | Posted on 2008-02-26 00:00:00 | by abstracted | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel the pathos as expressed by the poet's impaled heart....and soul....I guess that best sums up my evaluation of this riveting expression of separation.
    | Posted on 2008-02-25 00:00:00 | by petrushka | [ Reply to This ]
      Really good write. You seem very hurt though. But those are the best times to write. They always come out very good. Looking forward to reading more!

    Danielle Allison<3
    | Posted on 2008-02-24 00:00:00 | by bloody_raven | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    158034

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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