Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 5 Questionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Xena
    ASL Info:    17/F/Pluto
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 24/20/22
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 639
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 761



    Description:
       It came to me after I listened to a song called Untouched by the Veronicas


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots5 Questionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I gave you a letter some time ago
    It had a picture of me inside
    We planned to spend eternity together
    But now, what happened?
    you gave up on me to be with her
    Hey you! I'm talking here!
    I asked you to look at me but your looking right through me.
    Hey you! Can't you see that I'm bleeding right in front of you.
    So baby, am I not cute enough for you?
    So baby, can you feel my heart die inside the cross I gave you?
    So baby, am I no thin enough to hang out with you?
    So baby, can you see my taped up heart?
    So baby, just tell me, did you ever feel the way you told me you did?
    I gave you a letter some time ago
    It's in a box with all the others.




    Submitted on 2008-02-24 15:58:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i can feel the hurt coming off of the page it feelt so real and raw i really hope it was a wieght lifted when you were able to put this down
    | Posted on 2008-02-26 00:00:00 | by abstracted | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel the pathos as expressed by the poet's impaled heart....and soul....I guess that best sums up my evaluation of this riveting expression of separation.
    | Posted on 2008-02-25 00:00:00 | by petrushka | [ Reply to This ]
      Really good write. You seem very hurt though. But those are the best times to write. They always come out very good. Looking forward to reading more!

    Danielle Allison<3
    | Posted on 2008-02-24 00:00:00 | by bloody_raven | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    158034

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    To written by SavedDragon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Linger written by saartha
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry