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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: On a dark highwaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LadyMerlina
    ASL Info:    24/ F/ Montreal
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 60/93/58
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 697
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 674



    Description:
       "A dark highway" is a metaphore for a leap of faith. Think about it, you are in the dark when you throw yourself out there. You are in the dark about something you believe in whether it is love, a dream or a deity, you don't know if you are right, you don't know if you'll succeed, you don't know if it will happen.
    This poem is about finding out that it won't.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOn a dark highwaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I see you with her, holding her
    And I start to give up
    on holding on to you.

    I lose hope.
    It fades, like headlights,
    Far, on a dark highway.

    You smile with her, laugh with her
    And I give up. I give in.
    I lose hope and let defeat win.

    I let go of you a little everyday
    And I see hope fade.
    I settle into what I have become
    I settle into my dark lonesome home.

    Some days, I think of you and my smile fades.
    All hope is lost and wasted
    on this dark highway.













    Submitted on 2008-02-24 22:32:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this isn't bad. i personally like the repitition but not everyone does. be careful about being redundant. and don't force rhymes.

    "let defeat win" is redundant. i would change it.

    overall, good write. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2008-02-25 00:00:00 | by narcolepsy | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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