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I see you with her, holding her And I start to give up on holding on to you. I lose hope. It fades, like headlights, Far, on a dark highway. You smile with her, laugh with her And I give up. I give in. I lose hope and let defeat win. I let go of you a little everyday And I see hope fade. I settle into what I have become I settle into my dark lonesome home. Some days, I think of you and my smile fades. All hope is lost and wasted on this dark highway. |
this isn't bad. i personally like the repitition but not everyone does. be careful about being redundant. and don't force rhymes. "let defeat win" is redundant. i would change it. overall, good write. keep it up. | Posted on 2008-02-25 00:00:00 | by narcolepsy | [ Reply to This ] | |