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On a dark highway

Author: LadyMerlina
ASL Info:    24/ F/ Montreal
Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 60 /93 /58
Words: 115
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 816
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 674


"A dark highway" is a metaphore for a leap of faith. Think about it, you are in the dark when you throw yourself out there. You are in the dark about something you believe in whether it is love, a dream or a deity, you don't know if you are right, you don't know if you'll succeed, you don't know if it will happen.
This poem is about finding out that it won't.

On a dark highway

I see you with her, holding her
And I start to give up
on holding on to you.

I lose hope.
It fades, like headlights,
Far, on a dark highway.

You smile with her, laugh with her
And I give up. I give in.
I lose hope and let defeat win.

I let go of you a little everyday
And I see hope fade.
I settle into what I have become
I settle into my dark lonesome home.

Some days, I think of you and my smile fades.
All hope is lost and wasted
on this dark highway.

Submitted on 2008-02-24 22:32:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  this isn't bad. i personally like the repitition but not everyone does. be careful about being redundant. and don't force rhymes.

"let defeat win" is redundant. i would change it.

overall, good write. keep it up.
| Posted on 2008-02-25 00:00:00 | by narcolepsy | [ Reply to This ]

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