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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bone Marrowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Razor2TheRosary
    ASL Info:    20 - f - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 215/98/41
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 150
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1307



    Description:
       I hate it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBone Marrowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You're the butane underneath my lighter,
    the fire that used to be much brighter,
    and the disfigurement caused by old burns.

    I'm the mortician/eulogy writer,
    the black tourniquet that wraps you tighter,
    and the resurrection when pain returns.


    You're the needle that never leaves my spine,
    the reason that love and death intertwine,
    and the sandpaper that scratches my throat.

    I'm the castle walls you couldn't design,
    the stalker worshiping an obscene shrine,
    and the deflated raft that wouldn't float.


    You're the silhouette on my closet door,
    the toxic virus that infects a whore,
    and the hypnotist with contorted eyes.

    I'm the scalpel in Satan's dresser drawer,
    the bitter taste of demonic rapport,
    and the convent filled with spiders and flies.


    You're the bloodstains of lust's insanity,
    the putrid hole that sleeps inside of me,
    and the winter night I can't recreate.

    I'm the ocean's wreckage with no debris,
    the product of homeless malignancy,
    and the bones that rusted at Heaven's gate.




    Submitted on 2008-02-25 00:09:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The imagery is amazing. Vocabulary and structure perfect. Loved the flow and the picture painted more and more with every stanza. Keep it up, very impressive. You've got a gift.

    -Kyle
    | Posted on 2008-02-25 00:00:00 | by Broken Halo | [ Reply to This ]
      First line in every verse ~ well, your usual brilliance!
    The lines following each - perfect imagery of your statement.

    And I mean seriousassed brilliance!

    No need to critique - my words must bore you anymore ~ I mean how many ways can you describe the excellent quality of your macabre and the descriptive terms you string together in a dark harmony that speaks volumes to those who understand and listen ;)

    I know I just did this - but this is deserving even more
    | Posted on 2008-02-25 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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