Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What Ifdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Namlooc20
    ASL Info:    26/Male/Spokane, WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 359/327/107
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 786
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1493



    Description:
       This is... what happened this weekend.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat Ifdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Weekends are productive
    or help in the attempt
    killing all my brain cells
    leasing the space for rent

    And when the buyers come
    they only look for one thing
    places to put memories,
    things I'd rather not see

    The smell still lingers,
    and your touch never fades
    I watched your closed shut eyes
    wished to touch your face

    Then when Monday comes
    or Tuesday if you may,
    senses come back
    then sense go away

    I'll feel good Monday
    Shitty the next
    Thinking about how grand life would be
    with her, the first girl.

    Then the weekend comes again
    and now I'm with you
    sitting in a seat together
    wondering "what if"

    "what if" everything worked out
    the way it did in my head
    "what if" everything did as planned
    I would die and she would live
    "what if" we never came back
    this trip went on for days

    nothing happens like "what if"
    not if I say.
    I know I shouldn't tell you these things
    because I know you love him dear.

    I love mine too
    but there is something you must hear
    I know I'm not the perfect guy
    and I'll keep that under wraps
    but if you need anything ever
    I'm here. just stop and ask.




    Submitted on 2008-02-25 22:12:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    158089

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Mystery Read written by kyserin

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry