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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Insomniatic Acceptancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Broken Halo
    ASL Info:    22/M/ID
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 20/44/64
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 353
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 812



    Description:
       What else to do but write of insomnia when you have it. ;)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInsomniatic Acceptancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Insanity hounds my every step,
    Insomnia has followed me home,
    Madness has fallen in love with me.
    And now I'll never be alone.
    But time is the knife that cuts my skin,
    And past is the ghost that haunts me,
    A glare out of the corner of my eye,
    And so I’ll never be free.
    Blood is the life that revived my soul,
    Hurt is the angel that I’ve known,
    Memory is the only friend I have,
    Because I'm always on my own,
    The outcast are my followers,
    The damned are my spawn,
    Murderers are my family
    And heaven leaves me forlorn.
    But insanity hounds my every step,
    Insomnia has followed me home,
    Madness has fallen in love with me,
    And now I can never be alone.




    Submitted on 2008-02-26 00:52:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a really good description of insomnia, and I'm not just saying that for lack of creative critique. Catagorising it under longing is a logical thing to do, and up until now, yours seems the most honest poem on insomnia I've read on this site. And that's a lot of poems.

    It's surprising, but so few writers speak of the effect insomnia has on your soul. I don't have long-term insomnia, but I've been through several phases, and it changes your perspective of live entirely. Strangely enough most people just comment on the long nights, but the truth is that your days become just as bad.

    I'm not sure rhyme does wonders for this post. It's obvious you didn't stress too much on the form you used. Then again, it is being written by an insomniac. Change "I am" in line 12 to a simple "I'm". It just works better. I'm not being too harsh with the nitpicks, but that's because I enjoyed your approach.

    Sweet Dreams,

    DeepDreamer2008
    | Posted on 2008-02-26 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ]



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