Description: my first attempt at writing in what seems like forever. I've been broken, though I thought I was well, and I don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm not looking for anything here, I've been away a long time, and I am putting this out for my own sake... its just a bunch of non sensical ramblings at the moment. maybe one day I will make sense of it all.
hey silly boy ...u submitted something...i haven't been on here in a while and i get on and see you.ve submitted...this doesn't sound like a bunch of ramblings to me...this is clearly a broken man speaking wanting to have more to start over and realize whats important in his life...atleast thats what i got from it...and i think it comes off quite stunning...and the las lines left me with that feeling of wanting ...love silly girl...p.s. i hope your well and i miss you....
cleard heads = cleared?
been [to] blind to see = too?
and the [infections] spreading = infection's
when [its] crumbling = it's
theres a coupla little things to fix there but yes... i can feel the rawness coming through in these words and i cannot help but think that things didnt work out with you and your partner and if that is the case im so sorry coz i remember how happy you were.
the title is brilliant... all the implications... wow.
To save the whole
some must be sacrificed
amputations a must
we can rebuild
this stanza here would have to be my favourite. i cannot quite explain why though.
a little suggestion though would be that you have 'we can rebuild' as a stand alone line... there is power in those words especially following the idea that it follows.
ive often wondered about the supporting of crumbling pillars... someone once called me a pillar and when i felt like i crumbling i realised how strong i was coz no one was even remotely still withme... theyd crumbled age before... its a tough one john...
its nice to see you back no matter what state you are in... you know where i am if you need me [and you know that i mean that ]