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    dots Submission Name: stealing lightersdots

    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 476
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1475

       ok..... hard to explain but i move from staring at clouds (day dreams) to staring in the "starry plough" its a place where they hold local poetry slams in berkeley. i think that would count as moving to stars (or dreams, like sleep dreams hopefully not nightmares) but i hope you understand it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsstealing lightersdots

    i want to be a fighter
    but somehow im just a writer
    who wants to smoke a lighter
    to maybe save her voice
    and be a singer
    who still speaks in softer tones
    when she gets old
    not monotones like those too bold
    and shout too loud
    but maybe im just staring at the clouds
    and never see past this sick addiction
    that brings me peace in my soul
    when times just get too cold
    but what if i broke my fingers
    and killed my dream of a singer
    and then wasnt able to hold this colored pen
    would it really be the end?
    maybe id type a fighter
    if i never lost my lighter
    and i found an old typewriter
    in that cold
    and what if i wrote a song
    maybe its just a sing-a-long
    and told that person who quit smoking
    that they were strong enough to sing my song
    maybe ill lose my lighter
    and become my own typewriter
    and then not just a writer, but a star
    i wonder if i can see that far
    but maybe id just be too loud
    and i was staring at a cloud
    but still made a one hit wonder
    that one day left me to wander
    back to clouds
    what if i left this city
    to a country i dont know
    to stare into the starry plough
    to watch this show
    that maybe i could have just wrote
    with my typewriter
    what if i stole a lighter

    Submitted on 2008-02-27 17:46:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very interesting. For the most part, the piece was good. A day inside the head of the average dreamer, isn't it? It was very well written!
    | Posted on 2008-02-29 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that it needs work, but this line
    "maybe ill lose my lighter
    and become my own typewriter
    and then not just a writer, but a star"


    I did really enjoy it but there were parts that didn't need to be there.
    | Posted on 2008-02-29 00:00:00 | by die_another_day | [ Reply to This ]

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