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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: For Deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jerilynn
    ASL Info:    59, woman, U.S.A.
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 68/66/20
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 838
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 695



    Description:
       There comes a time when we no longer make the choices, they make us.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor Deathdots
    -------------------------------------------





    You chose the dark path,
    Deceit your only companion.
    No longer recognizing the light of hope.
    One time too many
    Temptation took command
    There is no more fight,

    Your eyes, like shale,
    Are dry from lack of tears,
    Murky orbs
    nonreflective
    Allowing no light out, or in.

    Refusing to see the sadness
    Reflected in other eyes,
    rejecting the burden of expectations.
    The door between
    barely cracked.

    A choice was made.
    By the drug?
    I want to believe it wasn’t you
    Who turned his back
    On everything,
    For death.




    Submitted on 2008-02-27 21:58:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Strong emotion flows through this piece. The way you ended it was incredible. I would only recommend one small change in this piece. When you said "There is no more fight" perhaps change this to "There is no more fighting."
    | Posted on 2008-02-29 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]
      This is resolute, but also very sad! It so aptly reflects the grim resolution and sadness of those affected innocently by the abusive habits of another! Sadly, denial is such a strong force for the addict that he cannot reason and or see the harm he is doing others!

    You have done such an excellent job with this! It is not all sugary, blubbery, or cliché, but it so aptly reflects an adult numbness and sadness at a senseless loss!
    | Posted on 2008-02-28 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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