[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Naturedots

    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 712
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 386

       Nature itself in its natural form. oldies

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Nature is a wonder,which keeps on changing,
    With plants and animals together enchanting.
    Beautiful and ugly the scene may be
    As the balance of nature done as to be.
    Ugly in case we see brutal fight,
    beautiful in sense with life so bright.
    There is nothing like nature for us to see,
    there is nothing like nature beautiful for you and me.

    Submitted on 2008-02-28 04:38:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like the topic, and the rhyming. The only criticism is the last line. Not saying you should change it, but i can see it being read as "There is nothing more beautiful to you or me"

    I like how you talk about the fight, and connect that with ugly. It makes me picture a logged forest (always a sad sight). and i also like how you put the bad before the good. It seems to convey a little less criticism, and also reminds you that even if the forests are being destroyed, that all that lives is still beautiful.

    Good write! thanks for sharing.

    | Posted on 2008-02-28 00:00:00 | by Guermo | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer written by layDsayD
    AI written by poetotoe
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Every..... written by jackz
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Linger written by saartha
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Brigit written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]