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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Naturedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 386



    Description:
       Nature itself in its natural form. oldies


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNaturedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Nature is a wonder,which keeps on changing,
    With plants and animals together enchanting.
    Beautiful and ugly the scene may be
    As the balance of nature done as to be.
    Ugly in case we see brutal fight,
    beautiful in sense with life so bright.
    There is nothing like nature for us to see,
    there is nothing like nature beautiful for you and me.




    Submitted on 2008-02-28 04:38:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the topic, and the rhyming. The only criticism is the last line. Not saying you should change it, but i can see it being read as "There is nothing more beautiful to you or me"

    I like how you talk about the fight, and connect that with ugly. It makes me picture a logged forest (always a sad sight). and i also like how you put the bad before the good. It seems to convey a little less criticism, and also reminds you that even if the forests are being destroyed, that all that lives is still beautiful.

    Good write! thanks for sharing.

    peace.Guermo
    | Posted on 2008-02-28 00:00:00 | by Guermo | [ Reply to This ]


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