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    dots Submission Name: strange heavendots

    Author: Nightraven
    ASL Info:    25/m/Poland
    Elite Ratio:    4 - 276/321/79
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 832
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 607


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsstrange heavendots

    your carpet is so pretty
    I get down on my knees
    hey, where was the zip?
    and where've gone the bees?

    you know it tastes like ocean
    everytime we race
    just don't mess around
    shoot right in my face

    you're just another one
    another yet so true
    I've broken up my china
    I could use some glue

    perfect batter
    jack-off shatter
    one, two, three
    it's time for me

    secret killer
    sweet love dealer
    five, six, seven
    this strange heaven

    Submitted on 2008-02-28 17:29:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oh my, Greg, this is a saucy one. It's either that, or I'm a pervert. There are enought things I don't get to intrigue me though. The rhyme is well-done. This is an enjoyable read.

    | Posted on 2011-08-24 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with dancer-of-words. It seems really well done. Intriguing, clearly very full of emotion and meaningful moments, but, rather cryptic. Perhaps it's meant to be that way though. Like many things in this world, t doesn't necissarily need to be understood to be appreaciated.
    | Posted on 2008-03-01 00:00:00 | by freshcookies | [ Reply to This ]
      This was an awesome poem
    the only flaw being
    by the end I have no idea what it means

    This creates a good effect often but I would add some things that make sense.

    | Posted on 2008-02-29 00:00:00 | by dancer-of-words | [ Reply to This ]

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