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    dots Submission Name: obiter dictumdots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 637
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 713


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsobiter dictumdots

    i've found joy
    in the decaying earth.
    the bending trees
    are the death of me
    in purple.

    i've collapsed
    into silky pools
    in the abapical lushness
    of the winding river red
    inside me.

    there's a gabelle
    on the salt of my body skin.
    the rabbet of my eyes
    is a sinking ship
    amongst the smoothness.

    obiter dictum;
    i'm tossing flowers from my mouth
    with an excitement of static tongues.

    my own kenosis
    is the burning of the wood.
    this is a cesura...

    let a falstaffian chorus
    dawn in
    the coming light.

    Submitted on 2008-02-29 20:10:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this ones decent. needs some more to it, quite simple, but there are little details that can throw off the more mainstream/average readers(thats good!) so really the only thing here i see wrong is:
    i've collapsed
    into silky pools
    in the abipical lushness
    of the winding river red
    inside me.

    did u mean
    biapical rather then abipical?
    | Posted on 2008-03-01 00:00:00 | by iaida | [ Reply to This ]

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