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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shortcomingsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deathbelow
    Elite Ratio:    2.7 - 34/43/17
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 481
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 823



    Description:
       Ok so i haven't written in forever...this is probably sucky...In most places it doesnt rhyme and its not supposed to...so deal with it ha ha...give me some honest feed back


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShortcomingsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tell me
    That the road between our fingertips
    Isn't a labyrinth with no center-no end,
    With a tangled past
    Beaten trails used and worn
    a dead end, where walls have fallen in.
    Tell me
    That you know the way
    With no maps or direction
    Know that the path you walk on is
    Where you are supposed to be
    Where you are
    Where you belong.
    If you could hold me in your arms tonight
    My skin upon your own,
    know the places less traveled
    Are the ones that we both know.
    Hold me in your distant dreams
    And know I will be there
    At the end of the road
    In the middle of the maze
    A kiss upon your lips
    I will be waiting-
    To know that you'll be here.






    Submitted on 2008-03-01 01:26:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is pretty good for not writing for a long time. I think it drags out a bit in the middle with all the repetitive wheres. I know it is for effect, but I just got tired of it. I think you need to just go over it again and fix a few things like that and it will be great.

    Peace
    | Posted on 2008-03-01 00:00:00 | by Sirbongatron | [ Reply to This ]


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