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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Raredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: doppelganger
    ASL Info:    19/f/your brain
    Elite Ratio:    1.68 - 27/194/138
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 86
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 676



    Description:
       a little ditty about 70's punk

    no... no form at all
    but does it really need one?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRaredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Give it to me raw
    Simple
    With all the crackles
    Even unexperienced
    So long as it's from the heart
    Untouched
    Even if it's angry
    Give it to me pissed off
    Repetitive
    Loud as fuck
    I don't mind if it's on heroin
    Cocaine
    Or any other drug
    So long as it plays
    and plays and plays
    Give it to me with power
    Like it was in '79
    When they sung about '69


    Loud
    Offensive
    Like poisoned chocolate

    Sweet
    Addictive
    Like rare steak laced with coke

    Just give it to me




    Submitted on 2008-03-01 02:21:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice, I like it.
    I don't really know anything about that type of music, but I still love the poem.

    Uh, yeah, this isn't very helpful. So...

    "When they sung about '69"
    I think it should be sang?

    And I think it'd sound cooler if the numbers didn't match, like '79 and '68 or '77 and '69 or something.

    Also, the sudden break, where there's one huge stanza and then tiny ones, is a little awkward, but if you like it that way, it's not too bad.
    | Posted on 2008-03-01 00:00:00 | by freshcookies | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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