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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: They'd Killdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: 777sacrites777
    ASL Info:    24/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 343/189/83
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 876
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 849



    Description:
       The power of love, no matter who doesn't approve!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThey'd Killdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Some just don't think we'll make it,
    that we won't last long.
    So here's my hand, please take it.
    Help me prove them wrong.

    Say "I love you" and don't fake it.
    Give me your whole heart.
    I promise not to break it
    or let it fall apart.

    Let's show up all those bitches
    who think they know it all,
    who can't wait for the day
    they finally see us fall.

    Let's throw it in their faces
    when we reach our happy ending.
    Of course we take it personal,
    it's our love we're defending!

    Let's show them what we're made of,
    that what we have is real.
    Deep down they're all just jealous;
    for a love like this, they'd kill.




    Submitted on 2008-03-01 12:17:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      u just went ahead and described my whole situation here...lol...well the poem was perfect...it gets the message through! and portrays the picture that u pain with it vividly!

    i like the aggressive vibe that u have attached to it and the decisiveness of the person who's talkin about how he/she is sure that the relationship is forever...i really liked the feel of this.

    the poem was like lookin into my head!

    if i am to point out ne weakness in the lines then all i have to say is u'd be better off with some other lines other than-

    "Of course we take it personal,
    this is our love we're defending!"
    but obviously as a writer u like what u write the first time (i know i do) so dont change it! lol


    thanks! it was worth the time coz of its simplicity

    KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!
    -O.B

    | Posted on 2009-02-18 00:00:00 | by obaid | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this because it is a perfect and well written retaliation to things even I have said in the past about friends who I did not think should be together.
    I was a hater, too- I guess.
    Even though I always turned out to be right and they should have listened to me.
    They did not get to prove me wrong, ever. -But I thought this was cute!
    You have made every argument you can make. Now it just depends how bad you both want it and only time can tell the rest.
    Good luck on showing up those bit<hes!!!
    Hahaha!
    -Ceyx
    | Posted on 2008-03-12 00:00:00 | by Ceyx | [ Reply to This ]
      so.. YOU must be in l...o...v...e .
    this is really good, you should enter. the contest..
    im a beginner...
    | Posted on 2008-03-07 00:00:00 | by being me | [ Reply to This ]
      wow Sacrites, this is deep and beautiful, `beautiful strength"

    I much admire this, I really do. fight for love beacuse love is real, love is us.

    `Of course we take it personal"

    Excellent!!


    P.S

    Even though I don't know you


    I love you
    | Posted on 2008-03-01 00:00:00 | by forfila | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good. You had good rhythm and itflowed well; just the end was forced a bit.
    I think it coulduse a bit more imagery ; though that's just my preference.

    Some people are men and only want to see you fall; keep on proving them wrong!
    | Posted on 2008-03-01 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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