Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She Blew Against The Winddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Flowerinbloom
    ASL Info:    22/M/Earth (I think)
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 700/559/123
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 991
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1087



    Description:
       For Manuela -from a friendly whisper in your ear, rest in peace my darling.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe Blew Against The Winddots
    -------------------------------------------


    The machine breathed for her
    but her strength was her own.
    The fire had left her body
    but burned passionately in her eyes.
    I held her hands so many times
    hoping she felt my touch,
    drew strength from my love
    but the strength had left her body
    and I couldn't read the fire in her eyes.


    I'd whisper to her,
    a voice giving her courage to hold on.
    Hoping to pull her close
    and anchor her soul.
    It's ok to be selfish isn't it,
    when its someone you love?
    Someone you wronged,
    who needed you when she was lost
    and you were the one who couldn't be found?


    She was drifting I could feel it,
    I couldn't hold on to her anymore.
    The machine breathed for her
    but her strength was her own
    and the pain didn't feel like home.
    I couldn't be selfish anymore
    not when it risked her soul.
    The fire in her eyes burned cold
    and she blew against the wind.




    Submitted on 2008-03-03 01:32:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is Beautiful!!

    It's both sad and happy in the fact that there is so much love and dignity here. The feelings are raw, but that is as it should be, and somehow in the end, through the stuggle between life and death, we're actually happy that she finally found her release; her peace.

    jan
    | Posted on 2008-03-04 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    158430

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Their fine denial written by MyPeriodical
    Meditations one written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Gone written by MyPeriodical
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    Blues written by TheStillSilence
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Quoth The Skies and its limits written by MyPeriodical
    In God's Name written by poetotoe
    Two hundred and seven times written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    not alone written by Daniel Barlow
    Thinking too much written by taintedsmiles
    Survive ed - right back at the beginning written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Giant written by MyPeriodical
    Tired Vine written by MyPeriodical
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Next to you written by robbie
    Behest [krb + drb] written by Daniel Barlow
    Leyenda de Un Maldito Cobarde written by MyPeriodical
    That Kind of Love Never Brought Me Flowers written by Jazzy
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    Release written by robbie
    Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
    Human Progression written by ForgottenGraves
    Remedies written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry