Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: White Spacesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 40
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 706
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 297



    Description:
       This is poetry that i'm just trying different styles or some stuff i'm making up lol so it will be strange


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhite Spacesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A book lays on the table,
    All alone.
    A rook flew from the pages,
    Knowledge flown.
    Black wings of ink,
    Dripping sage.
    Crow sings out loud,
    Melody vague.
    All over pages,
    Are white spaces
    Where black letters
    Have not found.




    Submitted on 2008-03-03 16:36:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      what incredible visuals in such few words.

    it was like a little movie in my head, each line...

    i wouldn't change anything, not even the punctuation...
    punctuation is unnecessary in poetry, but i feel that in this piece, it works for it.

    nicely, nicely done.
    ~Syn
    | Posted on 2008-03-31 00:00:00 | by Syn | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually like this but think the last line could be a bit stronger. Have not found leaves the reader thinking it's incomplete, what haven't I found? either change Have to Are or change the word found to something more descriptive and less passive in voice.

    I have to admit I kept thinking of Poe's Raven and To Kill A Mockingbird when I was reading this. It's just the imagery, but I liked it unless your using the Raven as an imagery of Death in which case it screws up the idea of knowledge being good for you and reads more like too much knowledge will kill you...lol

    ~jan
    | Posted on 2008-03-04 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      This to me is a bit weird. I'm not quite sure what to say about it except that it is abstract. I'm not quite sure what you were going for here, so I can't comment to that.

    I'm not going to say I liked it, but I'm not going to say I didn't either.
    | Posted on 2008-03-03 00:00:00 | by Elissar | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    158474

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wavelength written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To written by SavedDragon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Incubus written by monad
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Bond written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry