flow is right just transposed stanzas. it's kind of a normality these days to see something like this so it makes it quite easy to critique, if i were to score this about of the last ten- 1 being the highest, this is about a three. it's not corny, it's genuine, good flow easy on the read. good work, i'll be reading more of your stuff.
This was written very well, but I do have a few suggestions. Line 25 Everything is now fading to black throws the rhytm off. There are too many words. If I may:Everything fades to black That would keep the flow. Also, line 30 Thinking what it's like that throws off the rhythm as well. Again, if I may: Think what it's like It's a subtle change but it would make all the difference.
I've lived this life. I've written many poems similar to this, that's why I have no room to say that if you are cutting, you're doing something wrong. Granted self-mutilation isn't the best thing to do and it hurts more than just you, but whatever makes you feel better. I know at the time it did for me. Probabally for different reasons.
Anyway, great poem. It was written fantastically. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading
Submission Name: Cutter's Poem
