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    dots Submission Name: You kind of did it to yourself...dots

    Author: Ceyx
    Elite Ratio:    5.69 - 111/107/81
    Words: 230
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 780
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1361


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    dotsYou kind of did it to yourself...dots

    So, this is what happens when I can't fucking breathe. A sting and some tension at the closeness of me. I can look into your eyes and tell you the truth. The truth is; I wish I could kill you myself.

    I'd do it slowly, just like you did it to me. You smothered, but made sure I could breathe. Since old habits die hard I'll be sure you die harder. You see, I'm holding my breath while I choke away yours.

    -It's ironic and that's funny to me. Is it murder? Or double jeopardy?

    This is what your actions have driven me to. You're a poison tree and I'm the fruit of you. You never fucking cared what you were putting me through. -I bet you care now.

    I can see it in your eyes, I can see myself: angry. That's the reflection you cast unto me. I'm not bitter -but your blood is.

    You took away my breath when I first saw you. That was more pleasant than this. You aimed to destroy me, but sweetheart- you missed... Because you see, you once said you were a part of me. So, by your very actions it's your own hands that now act for me...

    Submitted on 2008-03-06 19:56:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i finished reading ur peice with an evil grin on my face. this is fu<king real this the that sweet silent riptide, all those subtle ways of making someone dissapear. i la la la love it!

    *side note. who da FU<K does that bit<h think she is (Ettenna Izus) emo my ass. ugh it's selfritouse shallow ppple like that who are polluting this and all other out lets...._end of rant

    so yea i adored this peice!!!!!!!!!!!!!! irony is a personal favorite of myn revenge best served cold delish!!.

    oh you do make this heart happy

    *huggs and pixi styx that really make you fly*

    | Posted on 2008-03-11 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      what...emo...lol...you write emo lyrics....haha just messin...i don't think it needs anymore detail...it reads outloud perfectly...its simplistically twisted...not to many wordy phrases but enough to keep an image of this situation your describing...why would you give insite to what inspired it...some of the greatest writers are a mystery...its more interesting that way...why must everything be given to the reader these days...purps
    | Posted on 2008-03-08 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me a lot of lyrics to an Emo song, particularly like Senses Fail might write. It is a pretty ironic piece, but I think it could benefit from a lot more detail- maybe even some insight into whatever inspired it. As it is this poem seems just a little bit generic.

    I hope my comments are helpful. Good luck!
    | Posted on 2008-03-06 00:00:00 | by Ettenna Izus | [ Reply to This ]

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