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    dots Submission Name: Hope is a Cynicdots

    Author: Ettenna Izus
    Elite Ratio:    5.38 - 11/9/14
    Words: 275
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 591
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1789


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHope is a Cynicdots

    Hope is the fleeting thought
    in the morning before the world hits you
    and youíre a clean slate for positive thinking.

    Itís that vague recollection of enjoyment
    that makes you smile despite yourself
    so you can wish away those silly thoughts
    before the cynic in you slams the door.

    Itís that clumpy film that crosses your vision
    when you view the sky at noon.
    Itís drifting there, up and around
    your shifty eyes so you canít quite catch it.

    And you know itís making good time
    across miles of everything Ė fighting all the way.
    You canít decide where it must be going
    because god knows, you donít believe in him
    and you wonder if it works both ways
    If omniscient beings hold grudges
    Like you.

    Hope is the critic in you, questioning everything
    and itís the part of you that goes first
    when emotions are high, and you drop subjectivism
    like itís the tissue you just blew your nose into.

    Itís the dream you just missed
    when the alarm sounds, harsh and thin
    and itís the towel, sopping up your sweat
    when you tell yourself youíre only being realistic.

    Itís the patronizing smirk of your best friend
    when you proclaim that youíve once again experienced
    ďThe worst day everĒ
    and itís the shivering comment you hiss
    because why else, except in hope, would you worry with his smugness?

    Itís good at disguising in the tiny hearts of intellectuals
    because we most of all need to be fooled.
    behind our every contemptuous rant and informed opinion
    there hope is, second guessing same as we do.

    Submitted on 2008-03-06 20:21:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      well while you request unbiased review{good luck with that) because I'm human and there fore biased...any way

    i feel that this piece is cluttered. too many words that only serve to take away from whatever it was you wanted to say. this seemed much more like poorly designed monologue than a decently written poem.

    over all it seems like your trying to encompass too much in one poem. try simplifying or taking them down to smaller poems.

    i hope my comments help!!
    | Posted on 2008-03-12 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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