Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Whale in the Harbordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ettenna Izus
    Elite Ratio:    5.38 - 11/9/14
    Words: 494
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 591
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3013



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhale in the Harbordots
    -------------------------------------------


    Our best clothes flapped in the breeze as Dad spun us round and round
    flapped like the American flag that promised freedom to all
    but reconsidered and forced my father away,
    sucked him into an ocean that looked like the end of the world.
    The end of my world, it seemed.

    When he left we wore those clothes again
    and again they would flap rebelliously against heavy starch
    in the dusty, dirty harbor that forced tan grime into the creases
    of his bright white bell-bottom uniforms and the stiff sailor hats he left us
    with faded black stencil numbers and letters; indecipherable, mysterious codes.

    His eyes were the color of the sky, and the ocean that lent it the shade,
    deep and cloudy, damp and cold with coming rain.
    The nylon pinched his broad shoulders and big arms
    when he picked us each up for our great big, too-short last hug.
    The pokey little strips of colorful rank pins caught the lace at my collar.
    And the earth approached as he put me back down again, like it was the first I’d felt gravity.

    He was gone and out came mom’s friends in their gossamer scarves and too much make-up
    “Parties” she called them, and they’d all fill the living room to sell whatever they sold.
    They wore rings like finger-armor, defending their tasteful clutch purses,
    grasped with their boney, puckery fingers, like we might snatch them away at any moment.
    We sat in the dining room for what felt like hours, quietly playing cards,
    the four of us full of contempt, encircling the snacks we’d helped prepare for them,
    but weren’t to touch (She’d counted).

    Today Dad’s slouching in our squeaky, dumpy computer chair,
    at the masterpiece he’s creating out of electricity and longing.
    His back’s faced to me as he says He loves me too, five seconds off cue.
    We’re going to build a forge out back, and a spinning wheel and underground kiln
    We’re going to build furniture and art and money from what the earth gave us
    The heat and the soil and all those things that keep him grounded.

    Mom’s at the door, beaming, just dripping with miss you’s
    and I know we don’t always get along so well, but’s
    pressing like an Egyptian wall-crushing trap.
    And I can remember my own love and longing, all those years ago,
    back in that harbor, with her big hand firm on my shoulder,
    when that ship, larger than a whale I’d seen at a museum with him
    slid away, across the shimmer of grey that looked weightless and unreal
    through the dream-sequence effect of too many tears, too much salt,
    too many seagulls squawking the gratitude I couldn’t to all those men.
    Rows of white polyester, flapping in the fishy, thick breeze.
    So close you could touch them
    but to this day I can’t reach that far.







    Submitted on 2008-03-06 20:22:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    158651

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Yes written by poetotoe
    You read free written by poetotoe
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Love written by saartha
    prison written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry