I did not learn a lot about your mind concerning Death, from this poem, which does not reveal much, but just names what you could reveal more of! It seems to me like what you say to yourself; and I can understand it; BUT each line is like the title of another poem that you haven't told me yet!
I think it is not good work yet, but the start of good work. My impression that "each line is a title" in this poem is I think important. But how to treat that idea is for you .. I imagined several ways to treat it ...
I'm interested in your poetry because you speak Afrikaans. I have read translations of two books by Eugene Marais, and was impressed by the terms he came up with .. even though his ideas were translated into English, he certainly did not think in English, and so the books are very instructive to me!
Submission Name: Who am I?
