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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dervish Subdueddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sheakhan
    ASL Info:    20/M/FL
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 148/153/66
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 93
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 415



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDervish Subdueddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Rigor mortis sets in,
    I feel my bones creak under the stress.
    This collapse of self is undeniable
    I breathe flames and sparks
    and my stomach is a thunder storm.

    I croak slander fervently
    and breathe in fumes greedily.
    I am the devil's advocate
    and proud as such.

    Blank and removed,
    I sheathe my wit when you enter the room.




    Submitted on 2008-03-07 20:47:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Interesting . . . I like the ending, gives the write character it would otherwise lack. Not that the rest of its bad, it just doesn't work without that last stanza.

    I may miss the mark completely, but this would seem to be talking about someone crushing your style, too put it crudely. Someone that you feel enough for, that you change yourself, even though it's messing you up?

    Well that's what I see anyway, and you communicate it very well.

    Not droll as a lot of stuff on here is.

    ~Demosthenes~
    | Posted on 2008-03-08 00:00:00 | by Keiran | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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