oh silly boy...you make me sigh at these words and they they are pulling on me...and its written perfectly in my opinion...and the comment you left on my write gave me the smile i needed for today ....thanx..luv silly girl
It's pretty sparse in the way of words here, but you've chosen wisely and I'm affected. As it happens, some things can't be said in their entirety with every word in every language at your disposal, and perhaps the underlying sentiments of your piece is just one of those things.
While I feel the strength of this loses its grip on the reader as the piece goes on, you do a good job of bringing your audience back with:
It was never you / I went down fighting for
As a suggestion, I would keep the heart of the piece specifically personal (cups of coffee used for miles, a voice unheard but cherished) rather than going for abstract midway and including dreamy nature themed phrases in parentheses, particularly when you establish in the first stanza that the parenthetical statements are the deepest of feelings within. There's a chance I've missed your point, but as a firm believer that an artist's creation belongs to the audience's interpretations, I'll let that possibility go for now.
You say a lot with less and you do it well. I just think you have more to offer your readers, the object of the piece and more importantly, yourself by saying everything you mean to say. You've come this far, admitted and displayed this much, what's a bit more?