This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

  Off

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password
Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

To the Girl


Author: MC white
ASL Info:    20/Male/Ohio
Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 71 /73 /45
Words: 71
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1114
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 479



Description:



To the Girl


My baby girl
to sleep, you fell
I hope that you
are dreaming well
and in your dreams
I hope you know,
know that my love
won't let me show
my darker sides
or tell the truth
and that these doubts
have taken root
deep in my heart
and I'm unsure
if we will last
I sigh, demure
and put back on
my boyfriend face
my cowardice
my cold embrace




Submitted on 2008-03-10 01:40:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Wow. This was like a bucket of icewater dumped down my spine. This was the short, brutal, perfectly put wording of the deepest fear in my heart. My god, I am hurt just thinking of this. Not a word out of place. This is horrifying, brutal, honest, and painful. This has got to be the most emotionally evocative poem I have ever read.
| Posted on 2008-03-10 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?		7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



158786

EliteSkills

  Roleplay
  Top News