Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To the Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MC white
    ASL Info:    20/Male/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 71/73/45
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 586
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 479



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo the Girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    My baby girl
    to sleep, you fell
    I hope that you
    are dreaming well
    and in your dreams
    I hope you know,
    know that my love
    won't let me show
    my darker sides
    or tell the truth
    and that these doubts
    have taken root
    deep in my heart
    and I'm unsure
    if we will last
    I sigh, demure
    and put back on
    my boyfriend face
    my cowardice
    my cold embrace




    Submitted on 2008-03-10 01:40:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. This was like a bucket of icewater dumped down my spine. This was the short, brutal, perfectly put wording of the deepest fear in my heart. My god, I am hurt just thinking of this. Not a word out of place. This is horrifying, brutal, honest, and painful. This has got to be the most emotionally evocative poem I have ever read.
    | Posted on 2008-03-10 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    158786

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry