Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Strait From Heaven


Author: Jingles
ASL Info:    19.m.canada
Elite Ratio:    2.08 - 18 /60 /36
Words: 123
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1161
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 788



Description:




Strait From Heaven



It was just another day,
Like many gone before;
But little did I know,
Open was heavens door.

God sent perfection,
Down from up above;
Knowing good and well,
That we would fall in love.

The chances we would meet,
They were very rare;
But God had made sure,
That moment we would share.

And although we have tried,
Too do things our own way;
What we almost ruined,
Yet still remains today.

But God has always known,
What is best for me;
And even when I can’t,
My future she can see.

And what I couldn’t see,
When Brianna came in my life;
What god was giving me,
Is my future wife.




Submitted on 2008-03-10 13:29:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Also, strait should be straight.
| Posted on 2008-03-10 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
  I like how sweet the poem was, but it felt really tritely put. Also: Open was heavens door. felt really awkward. The rest was alright, it was sweet, but very generic. I think pulling out a thesaurus could really make this special.
| Posted on 2008-03-10 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
  this is really sweet. i love reading love poems from guys because you dont really see that in everyday live and its good to know that some men can actaully do that. good write cant wait to read more.
| Posted on 2008-03-10 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



158800