I like the tone of this. You do a good job giving this a mystical feel. Some structural changes I’m suggesting, feel free to use ‘em or lose ‘em. Your choice. Nice work.
Mossy path
Wind me towards
Bind me forewards – WORD CONFUSION – ‘FOREWARD’ IS THE BEGINNING OF A BOOK. THINK YOU MEANT ‘FORWARD’ [WOULDN’T USE THE PLURAL BUT THAT’S YOUR CHOICE]
What is this place
An eternity lies
Within one lake
One patch of grass
Questions spiral away from me
Into me, out of me
The limits of my mind
Set my path in stone
questions whip and graze – DELETE ‘THE’
I long for a place where I can trace the winds back To their maker TOO LONG – THIS STICKS OUT A LIKE A SORE THUMB. BREAK THIS UP.
NATURAL BREAKS WOULD BE
I long for a place
where I can trace
winds back To their maker
Ride sounds back to the center – DELETE 1ST ‘THE’
Of the center
Of brightest truth – DELETE ‘THE’
limits of my mind – DELETE ‘THE’
Set my name in stone
Questions whip and graze
Erode
On my behalf
The final trace
Of my epitaph
Submission Name: Epitaph
