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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: or lessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: stasisindarknes
    ASL Info:    15/f/vt
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 23/28/27
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 65
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 599



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsor lessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i want
    to see you as you are
    striped down
    bare bones
    or less.
    i need you
    to be
    as you were

    i need to see the world through your eyes
    and hear with your ears
    i need to encompass myself
    in your body
    and feel not my own heart
    but yours.
    i need to feel your blood pumping through me
    and your mind racingaround mine
    i need to breath you sent
    that sweet aroma of longing and helplessness
    the taste of my tears
    on your lips
    and your blood
    on my cheek




    Submitted on 2008-03-12 21:46:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Great poem! Just remember some simple mechanics like capitolizing the first letter of each line, it makes it look alot better. Also, try breaking up the last paragraph into another paragraph shorter like the first one. Other than that keep up the great writes!


    -Rem
    | Posted on 2008-03-14 00:00:00 | by remedy bayden | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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