you've grown much too cold to move amazing blood
and i’ve got eternities and bridges to burn.
if the thought i had innocence to spare crossed your mind
you’ve got rude awakenings and tragedies to learn.
so bite your tongue while i bite your vampire lips
cause the sun is strong and we’re just waiting-out the sky to turn.
there are kingdom-come-down lites in your eyes
the medicine you gave was just poison in disguise
the things I couldn’t live without you’re still alive to sell
and you tried your best and i tried my best and we just tried ourselves to hell
these revelation skies have found me
and i found you out
i’ve grown much too old or just too god damn resistant
to let these passing glancers have a piece of me.
you had the thought my better side of bleeding was erased
but i was summer scarred and far too close to being free.
so let me be the lesser man and count you where it hurts the most
these days are gonna find us all, but this isn’t the way it has to be.
let these vanilla skies fall down
before I shake them loose
let this crippled soul stand straight
before he ties his noose
let us feel okay
before we get to you
and let me forgive you in advance
for never, ever coming through
there are kingdom-come-down lites in your eyes
the medicine you gave was just poison in disguise
the things I couldn’t live without you’re still alive to sell
and you tried your best and i tried my best and we just tried ourselves to hell
these revelation skies have found me
and i found you out
I'm going to use the comment guidelines to tell you how I feel about this.
1. Be honest.
Okay... It's the best thing I've ever read, and your talent still fascinates me.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
F*ck number two.
3. How did it make you feel?
Somewhat empty.
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
I'm not sure. Probably because I'm mentally unstable.
5. Which parts?
Mostly...
"the things I couldn’t live without you’re still alive to sell
and you tried your best and i tried my best and we just tried ourselves to hell"
6. What distracted from the piece?
The picture of the razor at the top. It made me want to play with blood. I'm sure it wouldn't distract most people though... I'm just a creep.
7. What was unclear?
No. I believe I get the point. The things you write always make sense to me.
8. What does it remind you of?
I had to think about this question for a really long time, and all I could come up with is 'nothing'.
"Vanilla skies" reminded me of the movie Vanilla Sky... for obvious reasons.
But that's actually completely irrelevant.
9. How could it be improved?
Can't.
10. What would you have done differently?
Capitalized words... because I get pissed off if I forget to capitalize certain things. It doesn't bother me when other people do it though. I don't know why. Maybe I just like to overuse the 'shift' button...
11. What was your interpretation of it?
I think the title says it all.
12. Does it feel original?
Yes. I wouldn't like it if it didn't.
So basically, the point is that I am madly in love with this and want to marry it.
You use the word 'amazing' a lot, and now whenever I hear it, I think of you. Hah Plus, you're pretty darn amazing.
Submission Name: veritas.
Hah Plus, you're pretty darn amazing.