[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: me myself and i dots

    Author: Austen jacox
    Elite Ratio:    1.69 - 3/6/12
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 1030
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 483

       it is about me so have fun

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsme myself and i dots

    Me, myself, and I

    Dark hole,
    Dripping with blood,
    Something moves in the shadow.
    It’s my real self.
    Shady and alone I wonder,
    In the dark hole,
    Forever I must be in isolation.
    I never fit in,
    Till the day I met him.
    He pulled me out of the hole,
    And into the light of the real world.
    I no longer wonder aimlessly about.
    I have a purpose,
    And that purpose is life.

    Submitted on 2008-03-14 10:37:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      shadow, shady, dark. You really carried the theme of darkness and ran with it. But I think the words could have been so much better, the word choice comes off as repetitive and cliché. I know, from my own experiences, that these can ruin a good poem. I would love to see this reworked a bit.
    | Posted on 2008-03-14 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. now that is what i call a good poem.
    you should write profesionaly.

    it is going on my favorites

    from draconus
    | Posted on 2008-03-14 00:00:00 | by draconus | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]