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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: me myself and i dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Austen jacox
    Elite Ratio:    1.69 - 3/6/12
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 872
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 483



    Description:
       it is about me so have fun


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsme myself and i dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Me, myself, and I

    Dark hole,
    Dripping with blood,
    Something moves in the shadow.
    It’s my real self.
    Shady and alone I wonder,
    In the dark hole,
    Forever I must be in isolation.
    I never fit in,
    Till the day I met him.
    He pulled me out of the hole,
    And into the light of the real world.
    I no longer wonder aimlessly about.
    I have a purpose,
    And that purpose is life.




    Submitted on 2008-03-14 10:37:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      shadow, shady, dark. You really carried the theme of darkness and ran with it. But I think the words could have been so much better, the word choice comes off as repetitive and cliché. I know, from my own experiences, that these can ruin a good poem. I would love to see this reworked a bit.
    | Posted on 2008-03-14 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. now that is what i call a good poem.
    you should write profesionaly.


    it is going on my favorites

    from draconus
    | Posted on 2008-03-14 00:00:00 | by draconus | [ Reply to This ]


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