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    dots Submission Name: Don't kill the place WE livedots

    Author: rosesrouges
    Elite Ratio:    2.93 - 32/42/42
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 530

       Okay. Ammateur poem i know. I penned this down when i was 14- can you blame me? LOL. The message. Get the MESSAGE of the poem!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDon't kill the place WE livedots

    The nature's wonders turning into flame
    The beautifying green turns black in the end
    No animals, i know should be blame
    The hunters liked becomes an offend

    If life becomes Gucci wears
    My eyes could prolly get sore
    When i see a piece of paper tear
    The smalle it gets and i mean the Earth's core

    Destruction brings richness to man
    But brings poorness to the living
    So here's no white plan
    The green of greeds make no giving

    Submitted on 2008-03-14 10:51:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love the message. I love bits of the imagery. I feel it would be much better if reworked, edited and reformatted into free verse. The restriction of rhyme in this has severely hampered what could be a very profound impact, and dampened what could be a very strong message.
    | Posted on 2008-03-14 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]

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