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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Don't kill the place WE livedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rosesrouges
    Elite Ratio:    2.93 - 32/42/42
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 530



    Description:
       Okay. Ammateur poem i know. I penned this down when i was 14- can you blame me? LOL. The message. Get the MESSAGE of the poem!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDon't kill the place WE livedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The nature's wonders turning into flame
    The beautifying green turns black in the end
    No animals, i know should be blame
    The hunters liked becomes an offend

    If life becomes Gucci wears
    My eyes could prolly get sore
    When i see a piece of paper tear
    The smalle it gets and i mean the Earth's core

    Destruction brings richness to man
    But brings poorness to the living
    So here's no white plan
    The green of greeds make no giving




    Submitted on 2008-03-14 10:51:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love the message. I love bits of the imagery. I feel it would be much better if reworked, edited and reformatted into free verse. The restriction of rhyme in this has severely hampered what could be a very profound impact, and dampened what could be a very strong message.
    | Posted on 2008-03-14 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]


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