Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: helpping people sucksdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: draconus
    ASL Info:    23/MALE/UK
    Elite Ratio:    1.89 - 49/101/59
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 634
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 668



    Description:
       just felt the words come to me. sorry if it is bad


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshelpping people sucksdots
    -------------------------------------------


    if it is one thing i have learnt today
    as i sit and talk about life.
    it is to never help another.

    why? you may ask.
    because you get nothing in return
    or it will get thrown in your face

    you may not trust this
    but in time you will.

    so in the furture think about the choises?
    help them and get hurt
    or
    don't help and only they get hurt.

    i know what i would choose
    without a second thought

    but what about you
    yes you dear reader you

    what you'd do
    i'll leave to you.........





    Submitted on 2008-03-14 11:11:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      throw in some examples if you could fit them in. relay more reasons why you aren't obligated to help anyone. i selfishness/nihilism. i like the last two lines. i enjoyed this a lot.
    | Posted on 2008-03-16 00:00:00 | by dorianrydell | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm.I believe in karma(well sthg like this) so i kinda disagree with the helping people thing. but its great to voice out what you feel- and like you said, you felt the words coming to you. more metaphors maybe? ( :
    | Posted on 2008-03-16 00:00:00 | by rosesrouges | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, wow, this is bitter. I found there were a good bit of spelling errors as well (ie, choices.) I didn't like it very much. It doesn't do anything to show the reader why helping others is bad, except say that hey, one nameless time you were screwed over by someone. I mean, tell me, what did they do to screw you over. Did you, say, give someone 5 bucks for gas and then get carjacked by them? (yes, bad example, but good irony). Work on really making people feel more. I think you can do it.
    | Posted on 2008-03-14 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    158991

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    prison written by ShyOne
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry