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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Foreverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 927
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 724



    Description:
       Based on a few thoughts I've been having recently, boy being happy can be hard work.

    The style was inspired by the writings of a friend and the last line also borrowed a little from her.
    Thanks Inkon!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForeverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hed waited so long to find it,
    Where everything fell into its own place.
    Each life is but a jigsaw puzzle waiting for the final piece
    And although the edges are still a little rough and the corners have yet to be placed
    He feels that his is now complete

    Yet contentment brings company,
    Fear rides upon its back as if a fiery mane
    Whisping in and out of thoughts and dreams.
    Teasing, with ideas of losing what has been so long sought

    Forever he had promised
    The forever promised, returned to him
    But fear replies with thoughts of death
    The final parting
    Because sometimes
    Forever isn't long enough




    Submitted on 2008-03-14 17:15:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love this piece. I wish that I could be in your mind when you write sometimes...i have read a few of your pieces and each time I am surprised to read what I do. You are a talented person.

    It's crazy isn't it? How we beg and plead and sometimes we even pray, that our life would turn around and that everything would be great...that we would have everything that we would want; a best friend, a love, a relationship with our families. But as soon as it happens then we begin to lay those metaphorical bricks because we don't want to get hurt by what we wanted so much...we don't want to risk the chance of losing it.

    I thought that i was the only one that felt this way...but I am finding myself with this problem right now. I have my first glance at love and here I am building this wall up so high that it is hard to find myself through all of the debris that lies around my heart and mind,

    Well jimminy, that is enough about me. I am sorry to go on and on. Really all i was trying to say is that I know what you mean and thank you for writing something that really spoke to me.

    Thanks for the read, LWD
    | Posted on 2008-12-23 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      This is different from your other pieces (or at least to me it is). I've had this feeling before. Sometimes things are so good they scare you or the thought of losing them scares you, yet somehow you cant help but do a little victory dance at the happiness you've managed to secure (all while hoping that the evil that would happily snatch it away didnt see you).

    I'm trying hard to avoid saying that this is really good, but what the heck....this is really good.

    I really like the 2nd stanza for the truth it holds.
    the first stanza is good... particularly the 2nd and 3rd lines.

    And the last line works well with this.

    Ha! how about I just read your description of the work up above and realized that I inspired a new style of writing. *blushing*


    Until we write again,

    ~ink~
    | Posted on 2008-03-15 00:00:00 | by inkonspikuous | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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