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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Femme Fataldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raphael
    ASL Info:    18 male Ireland
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 230/128/64
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Vampire
    Total Views: 115
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 525



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFemme Fataldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm a pig,I'm a cunt
    I'm a bum,I'm a punk

    I'm two balls and a stick and I love it

    You've power,You've money
    Your a slut when your horny

    You think that your better than I am

    Well Id love you anyway
    If you could only bear the shame
    of admitting we aren't the same

    Your a man,I'm a woman
    Thats all there is to it

    and i just mixed things up so I'm sorry!




    Submitted on 2008-03-15 07:45:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      hahaha...
    lol, just lolness
    but deeper down, it kind of made me realise how much we stereotype and the ending is like a slap to the face
    | Posted on 2008-10-14 00:00:00 | by rubymoon | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm a pig, I'm a cunt
    I'm a bum, I'm a punk

    I'm two balls and a stick and I love it

    You've power,You've money
    (You're) a slut when you're horny

    You think that (you're) better than I am

    Well I'd love you anyway
    If you could only bear the shame
    of admitting we aren't the same

    (You're) a man,I 'm a woman
    Thats all there is to it

    and (I) just mixed things up so I'm sorry!


    Well, that neck-snapping bit of clarity at the end was worthy of a Korean action film (and will certainly slap the reader to attention upon a second or third perusal). I can imagine this sung loud and proud by a neo punk band as a sardonic observation of gender communication (or the lack thereof) with a closing twist like an ice water bath.

    Nice play on words in the title, btw.
    Bill
    | Posted on 2008-03-15 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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