Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: applesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 438
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 708



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsapplesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    iíve wicked back
    the beast of my body
    with autumn fingers
    over olive skin
    while small children,
    with tiny eyes
    like apples for the seeding,
    stare at the trainwreck in my chest
    that just keeps beating.

    & i need rest from this deleting.
    but iíll build that bridge after iíve crossed it.

    one summer evening
    i counted all my eggs
    before they were layed.
    perhaps thatís why the plans that were hatched
    never stayed.
    & iím afraid
    because all that i have left
    are the shells of myself that iíve displayed
    & the mistakes that i have made
    in loving.




    Submitted on 2008-03-15 17:22:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You appear rather distraught in this- rather torn up. The images are absolutely fascinating and you have such a unique turn of phrase that just makes me wonder hmmm. Never thought of it that way.
    | Posted on 2008-05-19 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the line about the bridge the most. the lines that begin with & would be better off using the word. over all i liked it a lot.
    | Posted on 2008-03-16 00:00:00 | by dorianrydell | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    159026

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    FamiliarDemons ¬©‚ĄĘ written by kyserin
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry