Thank you for letting us peer into your mind. And I'm thinking that you wrote exactly what was there. Something the left brain remembered spoken like a grown up and then the child listening to the dance and colors.
The beginning I loved. And the poem really is cohesive when you consider the tone you've set by these words, friend, alcoholic,
teetotaling, and how you turn the phrase inside out. So it's a good way to lead us into the garden path of your memories.
But it's the child and the right mind that is the grounding point, so it turns the whole thing upside down. And yet it's true to the way a poet can paint a image in the minds of his readers.
You know what is so weird about this... they could be walking thoughts... (at least that is what I call them). Kinda like you start out with a thought, and reverse it a bit, and it leads from one thing to the next, bounces around to come back again, goes somewhere else... becomes a song to sing.
as well, the alcoholic reference is interesting, as all the other stanzas kinda seem like a back ground story in a way; childhood, god, sacrifice, doubt, silly stories to believe in, dreams, reality, grace. All those things one might look at. hmmm
as always, you make me think in a few different places all at once. And why are the colors dancing??
Bill, i dont have time to write a comprehensive comment or even a worthy one for that matter, but let me say this, i really love this piece. i think its very different from what you normally write. the rhyme is awesome. it was fun to read and to contemplate.
perhaps i can find the time to write....
After reading it, it seems like an explosion has taken place, and you think about how the poem talks about things you don't understand or know and makes sense. It could be better. But everything could. But most honestly, this is beautiful......"Why do the words keep dancing, why do the words keep dancing, why do the words keep dancing, softly in my head?"
why are the colors dancing, why are the colors dancing, why are the colors dancing in a pool above my head?")