Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 1916dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Senna27NZ
    ASL Info:    33/m/New Zealand-UK
    Elite Ratio:    5.42 - 251/184/26
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Misc/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 1226
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 495



    Description:
       Accidentally deleted, apologies to those that had commented, your words not lost on me however.

    Here is the re-worked poem. Thankyou for your time.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots1916dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Think of those fallen foes - those who paid the cost
    For battles bravely won, in wars later lost
    Casualties of circumstance, confounded by cruel Fate
    Short lives accursed by unquenched thirst the future cannot sate
    Winds blow cold on fallen souls that recall summer breeze
    Where once flags flew proud, half-mast rags concede defeat
    Confined to yesterday, they now rest beneath French soil
    Remember our forefathers: doubters, cowards, heroes all




    Submitted on 2008-03-16 19:20:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the way you wrote this piece, without getting maudlin, painting those soldiers as nothing but heroes and giving them a humanity without denigrating them either. Very nicely done.
    | Posted on 2009-05-29 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    159084

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry