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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Guess whatdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Morsketch
    ASL Info:    21/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 27/26/26
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 601
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 589



    Description:
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    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGuess whatdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Guess I wasn’t cool enough
    I just wasn’t kind enough
    I never really cared enough
    To be a friend of yours

    I never was worth enough
    I didn’t ever bring enough
    I couldn’t scratch your back enough
    To make you care for me

    I couldn’t make you laugh enough
    I wasn’t ever sane enough
    I couldn’t ease your weight enough
    For you to think of me

    I wasn’t ever flawed enough
    I never had that special touch
    I wouldn’t play along enough
    You’re not good enough for me.




    Submitted on 2008-03-17 21:02:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The "enough" endings draw the reader away from anything of substance you might have to say in the piece. After the first stanza, it is clear the feeling of being inadequate exists. The problem is the poem rads like a giant gripe session, a laundry list of complaints, so to speak.

    What the poem does not say affirmatively is what you brought to the relationship that the other person did not see. This poem could be much better with a shift in focus.
    | Posted on 2008-03-18 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the format of this; very unique! The repetition of "enough" had very good emphasis on the whole piece. I liked the whole idea of abruptly ending with the unexpected:

    "You’re not good enough for me."

    Good job!
    | Posted on 2008-03-17 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]


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